Blog

Last Mother's Day

I understand a lot more about Mother’s Day now, than I have ever have before.  I’ve been a mother for over thirteen years, but never have I ever felt or understood Mother’s Day grief in the way I do now.  Last Mother’s Day I woke up crying for the first time in all my years of being a mother.  I could not control the sadness I felt not having Vinni at home with me.  Yes we visited him and spent the day as a family.  Yes he made me some beautiful Mother’s Day gifts, but we had to leave him again, as we had been doing everyday for the past two months.

It was wearing on us, but Vinni needed help.  We were told 3 Rivers was the only DMH facility in New England that could care for a kid like Vinni.  Now we know better.

This year I am grateful to wake up at home on Mother’s Day with all three children in my custody and in my home – that is a privilege not every mother has this weekend.  Most of you are thinking, “Well if a mother lost her kid to DCF, there must have been a good reason.”  This is the reason she lost her child – DCF needs children in their custody in order to do their job.  Children are trafficked everyday away from their families to be raised by whoever DCF deems “fit”.

Losing custody of my child is now the most traumatic experience of my life.  I thought surviving a divided family laced with secrets, enablers and sexual abuse would be the death of me, but that hits so different now in perspective to this.

Sergio is gross. His family is gross. It’s astonishing how much the system protects these people. He hurt my family in a way that no one ever else will.  We are vigilant, distant and more powerful than those gross people and it was easy to cut them out of our life.  We would never ever consider having a relationship with them.

But when the abuser is DCF or DMH or the other parent – escaping the toxic abuser is impossible.  DCF took custody of my child and knowingly brought him to a residential home they knew neglected him.  I was punished constantly for my behavior because I was freaking out the whole time – it was the worst 41 days of my life even though I saw Beyonce in concert in Tampa, FL.

DCF makes mistakes and no one has the power to correct them.  So I am here to correct your perspective of the mothers who are grieving their kids this weekend – not because they are dead, because they’ve been trafficked by DCF and DMH.

I celebrate you mamas and invite you to our Rainbow Party on June 1st, 2024 at 3pm at the Ivy Corset Building in Worcester, MA.